No Shame in a Wank: The Myths, the Facts, and Why Your Body Is Thanking You

Let's start with a number. Around 95% of men under 30 have a wank, and well over half of blokes in their seventies are still at it. That makes it roughly as common as owning a phone and considerably more common than flossing. And yet most of us grew up with a quiet, nagging sense that it was something to be a bit embarrassed about.

Time to retire that. Here is what the research actually says, so you can get on with it in peace.

The myths, binned

Hairy palms, blindness and acne: no. These are Victorian scare stories dressed up as medicine. There is not a single study, anywhere, ever, connecting masturbation to any of them.

“You'll run out.” You will not. Your body makes millions of new sperm every day and does not keep a lifetime tally. Masturbation does not cause infertility, low sperm count or a smaller penis — that last one gets asked more than you would think.

“It tanks your testosterone.” It does not. Testosterone rises briefly around arousal and settles back to baseline. The idea that abstaining for a week makes you a wolf is internet folklore; long-term studies find no meaningful change in T from how often you ejaculate.

“It causes erectile dysfunction.” The opposite, if anything. Regular arousal and orgasm keep the plumbing working. ED has real causes — blood pressure, diabetes, smoking, stress, some medications — and a solo session is not on the list.

“It means something is wrong with your relationship.” Most men in relationships still masturbate, and plenty of couples do it together. It is a normal part of a sex life, not a replacement for one.

What it actually does for you

Orgasm releases a cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins, which is why the research consistently links it with lower stress, better mood and — the one every man notices — better sleep. Clinicians also use it as a tool for men dealing with performance anxiety and some forms of sexual dysfunction, because it lets you learn how your own body works without an audience.

It is also the safest sexual activity there is: no STIs, no pregnancies, no awkward morning after. And yes, there is the prostate angle — a large Harvard cohort found men ejaculating 21+ times a month had around a 20% lower risk of prostate cancer than men on 4 to 7. We have written about that one in detail; the short version is that it is a strong association, not proof, and still the best excuse science has ever handed a man.

How often is normal?

The International Society for Sexual Medicine's answer is that there is no normal. Daily, weekly, monthly or never are all fine. The only question that matters is whether it is getting in the way of your life — skipping work, cancelling mates, using it to avoid things you would rather not deal with. If it is, that is worth talking to a doctor or a sex therapist about, and nobody will blink. If it is not, you are doing it right.

The one habit worth changing

If there is a genuine downside to a long solo career, it is “death grip”: years of a firm hand can leave you less sensitive to anything gentler. The fix is not abstinence, it is variety — lighter touch, different technique, a bit of lube, and if you have a mate who is into it, the novelty of a session that is not just you and your own hand. Sensitivity comes back.

About the shame

Most of that quiet embarrassment did not come from medicine. It came from a few centuries of people who were deeply worried about what men did alone and were wrong about all of it. Knowing the facts helps; so does talking to other men. One of the quietly radical things about a community like B8Mates — which is built around real mates first, with bating as something mates sometimes share — is how quickly the shame evaporates once you are around blokes who treat a wank, solo or shared, as the ordinary, healthy thing it is.

So: no hairy palms, no blindness, no shrinkage, no shame. Carry on.

This article is general health information, not medical advice. If something hurts, bleeds or worries you, see a doctor.